Fox's Lousy Morning
by oOo. AnimaX .oOo
Summary: Fox has a very bad morning, to majorly suger-coat it! I don't own Star Fox and I make no money off of it. One Shot


StarFox wrinkled his nose as something tickled it. He sneezed and shook himself awake. He opened his eyes to see... a feather! Attached to the feather was a wing, and the wing was stuck to a blue body, and the blue body belonged to Falco, who was still asleep. The blue falcon snored, and his feather moved again, tickling Fox's nose yet again. " Cut it out!" he yelled, startling Falco awake. Falco fell off his bed because he had been hanging off anyway and being asleep kept him suspended no matter what the law of gravity said. Slippy groggily opened his eyes, but Peppy stayed asleep. That hare can sleep through anything, thought Fox. He hauled himself out of bed and stepped on Falco, who squacked loudly. " Great googly moogly!"he yelped. Fox kicked him out of the way and kept walking. " That's bird abuse, you heartless excuse of a...a...a..a..whatever you are!" Falco said, hauling himself up. Fox suddenly realized that there was a pricking pain in his back. He pulled it out and saw that it was another one of Falco's various sharp doo-dads that he insisted on keeping. " I miss having my own cabin." he sighed, kicking at the junk that also happened to be Falco's. They had to share a cabin until their old ones were fixed because a certain bird had driven an Arwing right into them, convinced that he could teleport. " Who left this junk on the floor?" inquired Falco, poking around a questionable pile of whatever. " You did, idiot." said Fox. " My trophy! The one I won in the flying olympics!" He stood there with the trophy clutched in his hand. " That's Peppy's." said Fox. " Oh." Falco said. He tossed it carelessly aside and dug some more. " My trophy from basketball!" he said, dusting it off. " That's also Peppy's." said Fox. " NOOOO! It's mine! See, see! Right there! Falco!" Fox looked at it. Over Peppy L. Hare was scrawled in cheap magic marker Falko, thuh bestest plaier evir. " Falco, that isn't convincing." said Fox. He use Falco's sleeve to wipe it off. " You've vandilized my trophy!" cried Falco, cradling Peppy's trophy as he searched for a marker. " Look. It says, Peppy L. Hare." said Fox. " Oh well." said Falco, tossing it aside. A shattering sound followed, waking Peppy. " My trophy!" he gasped, then saw Falco with a gleeful look on his face. " It's a bell, too!" he laughed, then paled when Peppy started to charge him. Falco flung back his arms and ran around screaming. Slippy suddenly burst into song as he joined in the chase. " Jingle bells, Peppy smells, Falco layed an egg...!" Fox leaped out of the room and slammed the door shut. He let out a sigh of relief and slumped against the shut door. He heard the sound of robot wheels against the floor, and looked up to see ROB. " WHAT IS YOUR REQUEST SIR?" it asked. " Carry me to the kitchen." he moaned. " AS YOU WISH, SIR. BUCKLE UP." ROB unfolded a seat from his back. He dumped Fox into the seat and buckled him up. Fox had his head and leg stuck through the bottem of the harness, and his other leg and arms stuck out from the top. His tail was jammed between the cushions, and Fox prayed that ROB would just dump him out all the way before closing up the seat. ROB rolled creakily over to the kitchen and flipped some internal switch that pulled the seat belts in. A buckle hit Fox in the face and dazed him. He snapped out of it when ROB started to close the seat. " No, no, wait wait wait, no no, wait...!" he protested, but to no avail. The seat closed, shutting his tail painfully in with it. " OOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWW!" he yowled, struggling to pull out his tail. " DO YOU WISH TO GO SOMEWHERE ELSE SIR?" asked ROB, starting to unfold his seat. Fox took the chance to free his tail. " No, I do NOT wish to go somewhere else! Get lost, you hunk of junk!" growled Fox, stroking his injured tail with a paw. " VERY GOOD SIR." ROB bleeped sadly and rolled away. " Oh, ROB, what's wrong?" asked Krystal who had just walked in. " SIR FOX SAID TO GET LOST. I TAKE ORDERS VERY SERIOUSLY, SO I WILL GO GET LOST AND PLEASE HIM." Krystal stopped him. " Oh, no. You can stay. Take this oil and go visit with the other bots." ROB took the can and rolled to the bot closet. Krystal turned on Fox. " What did you go and tell the poor guy that for?" demanded Krystal. " He crunched my tail in his stupid seat!" whined Fox. " HA! You're nothing but mean to that good old bot!" she growled. She turned around and started to storm off. " Yeah OLD is right!" Fox muttered. Krystal stopped, then did a back flip and did a round house kick right into his face. " OOOOOOWWWCHH!" Fox shrieked, hopping around like a demented toad. Krystal huffed, whipped around and stalked off. " Touchy, touchy, touchy." muttered Fox. He rubbed his face as he made some waffles and spilled buttery, thick, sweet maple syrup all over them. He licked his fork as he finished up the delicious treat. All of a sudden, Falco hurtled in to the kitchen, screaming. " Peppy's after me! Help! The geezer's on the war-path!" he shrieked, flapping his wings around. Peppy raced in next, his long ears streaming out behind him. " When I get my paws on you, you'll wish you never messed with Peppy L. Hare!" Slippy ran in next, joining the lunatic merry-go-round, predictably in song (sung to the tune of " Old Smokey)." On top of the Great Fox, all covered in blood, Peppy shot Falco with a .44 slug. He fell into space, and fluttered around, but he died quickly with barely a sound!" Remember that buttery, thick, sweet maple syrup I mentioned? Falco knocked into the table when Peppy tackled him, knocking Fox's plate clean into the air. It spilled all over Fox's brown and white fur. Slippy leaped up and out of the carnage, landing on the table and bellowing a song right into Fox's face. " Twinkle, twinkle, exploding star, how I wonder what you are. Like a valcano way up in the sky, Peppy stabbed Falco and made him die. Twinkle, twinkle, exploding star, how I wonder what you are!" Fox stabbed Slippy in the eye with his fork. " My eeeyyyyeeeee! My bulbous eeeeyyyeee!" he cried. Fox made a quick exit, covering his ears against Peppy's shouts and Falco's screams and Slippy's shrieks. He ducked into his refreshing unit, cranking up the water. A nice, hot shower, he thought, waiting for the hot water to hit his fur. Icy cold water pounded agains his skull, driving him against the tile floor of the unit. He dragged himself through the freezing H2O and pushed the emergency button. The water mercifully shut off. He wrapped his now really damp towel around himself and staggered to the door. I always wondered why they put that button in there, he thought. " WHO USED ALL THE HOT WATER?" he screamed. Krystal looked up from where she was sitting on the couch in a fluffy white robe. " That was me." she said sweetly. Fox threw back his head and screeched, " WHY MEEEE?" He got a fresh towel and and set it safely away from the water. He layed on the bottem of the stall and used his tail to push the button, preparing himself for the freezing torrent. Drip. Fox's eyes cracked open. Drip. He slowly got up, realizing what had happened. Drip. He clenched his fists, and his eyes misted over, Drip. That cursed leaky faucet, he thought furiously to himself. Drip. " YAUUGGGHHH!" he yelled, and tore the faucet off the wall. A water-fall bigger than Niagra Falls poured on his head. After he had the stuffing beaten out of him by liquid, he threw his weight against the emergency button. He slumped against the wall, then dragged himself up, wrapped himself in a towel and stumbled to his bed. Another morning, he thought as he drifted off to sleep, and it really, really, r eally sucked. And let's just assume that the rest of the day sucked even worser.

THE END PS Slippy was indeed caffiene- and suger-high. 


End file.
